Deep in my soul, there stirs a young child. She is blond, she is beautiful, she is innocent and she is pure.
She knows nothing of what tomorrow will bring. She goes about her day exploring. Everything is new, everything is exciting. She has no idea what tomorrow will bring.
Tragedy occurs and yet she has no idea. She just knows he was there one day and lifeless the next. She knew he was sick but did not understand. She thought the big machine was making him better.
He is not outside riding his tricycle like he used to. He is in heaven riding it instead. This is what she is told and she believes it is so. She does not see him, though he is still here.
He plays outside like he always used to but no one can see him. He is still here.
She doesn’t see him, she doesn’t hear him, though she misses him. He is still here.
She goes about her life and soon she forgets about his playing. And she forgets many things about him. Though he is still here.
She wants to remember, she wants to know him. She asks him to appear. She knows he is still here.
She calls upon him and talks to him. He is still here. He is beside her and when asked will answer in his own way. She knows he is still here.
She is no longer a child and she doesn’t remember the many times he rode his tricycle, but she knows he is still here.
Angel Blessings to you.
Empowerment 4 You LLC
What a heart felt blog post. So very sorry for you loss, understanding that grief lasts a life time.
Thank you Chelsea. I know he’s in a great place and watches over me & my other brothers 🙂
My condolences on your loss. Even though it was many years ago I can tell it’s still a painful memory for you. Sending love and light.
Thank you Denise. Chris (my brother) is around me a lot now and I find comfort with that. 🙂
Beautifully written, Sue. You have definitely found your niche.
Thank you Jeanne! I appreciate that 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this article that is so heart touching. I may not have lost a child but my parents did. My youngest brother of four whom I was most closest to died when he was three. Our home caught on fire while my mom was cooking dinner. My brother and I was taking a nap when the room we were in engulfed in flames. My mom got me out first and than went back and got my brother out, it was in December 1972? Anyway my dad ended up pulling the plug on him because he would never be normal or able to eat on his own, he had been severely burned. My parents always reminded me of him and how much he always loved me. Than my father died in 2008 my world and life has been turned upside down every since. My dad was my everything and without his words of wisdom, love and advice. I have been knocked down so many times I have forgotten who I am or the person I once was. My dad and I had a unique bond. My mom passed away in Dec of 2012 but her loss never effected me like my dads. She had an illness my dad always told his kids to forgive her but her illness scared me right up to the very day she died. I took care of both of my parents before they died. My dad was filled with so much love and appreciation for life while when my mom was ready to pass she was filled with much bitterness and hate. Like my dad said forgive her and I do. But, my dad is my hero, everything I look up to and even though it has been almost four years, it is still tearing me apart inside and more days than not I just want to be back with him. I fear the unknown, will we be reunited again. I’m tired, week. I just want to be a good person but feel the world smiles in my face with hate for me. I refer to the fact the Bible says forgive them for before they ever hated you, they hated me first. I struggle each day. I try to be a good person but at times feel despised or hated by my own kids. I dont know where I have failed in life or turned so many against me but I have had my fair share of knock downs and only wish I could be half the man or person my dad once was. I believe he is still here with me even though others and the bible say it different. My dad said even after he died he would always be with me, I just wish I could tell him I live him, hug him and see him again.
Thank you for your comments Brenda. I also wish I could feel my Mom hugging me. What I have done to help me with this is a meditation, using memory when it’s there and filling in with imagination when it’s not. If you bring in as many senses (sights, sounds, taste, smell, etc) as you can, it makes it more real. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between the real & memory/imagination. Try that and see if that helps, if even for a few minutes.
Hugs to you Brenda.